


One Last Memory

by Anubis_The_Caretaker



Series: Shen Zed week 2018 [3]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Angst, Childhood Memories, Fluff, M/M, Secret Relationship, Young Love, in secret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 20:44:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14922522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anubis_The_Caretaker/pseuds/Anubis_The_Caretaker
Summary: Memories of Zed's childhood haunt him as adult, but he refuses to forget them.





	One Last Memory

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Shen Zed wekk 2018 day 3 In Secret. I really love this one, I hope others feel the same way! <3

It was harmless, that’s what Zed would have said had they ever been caught, but they never had been, or at least if they had no one ever said anything. Though it was never really that harmless, Shen meant the world to him, but he would never have admitted that aloud.

All of it started when they were younger, just barely teenagers. The two of them had a habit of roughhousing in their shared bedroom and the last time they had fought, Zed had managed to break at least two vases, this time they planned ahead, Shen and Zed pushed all of the furniture to the outside edge of the room leaving a wide open space in the middle for them to wrestle, testing each other strengths.

Normally it didn't take much for Shen to win, Zed may have head a brilliant mind, but Shen was stronger and always used that to his advantage. Zed bounced around on his feet dodging punches and attempts to knock him off of his feet by the other boy. Waiting for the opening he took it, grabbing Shen’s leg the next time it came at him and expecting him to fall instead being pulled closer by force.

Having not expected the movement Zed was thrown off balance and Shen took advantage, with a smile and a laugh he pinned Zed to the ground as they both fell. They both laughed at the moment before looking at each other fully, smiles fading as Shen leaned down, gaze shifting between Zed’s eyes and lips. 

Shen kissed him, rough chapped lips against his own. It was a quick little thing, but as soon as it happened Shen scrambled up, red gracing his cheeks as he backed up so he was across the room from a shocked Zed.

“I.. am so sorry,” Shen whispered, running a hand through his hair and looking down at his feet,”I don’t really know what came over me I just..”

“It’s okay,” Zed interrupted as he slowly stood up,”I… don't mind.”

Zed never shared that moment with anyone, it was for Shen and him to have and no one else. It didn’t lead to much more than a few stolen kisses until they were older.

A small pond near the temple was a normal hiding place for Zed when he was having issues with Kusho, and it didn't take Shen long to find it, joining him more than once, but the first time was the most memorable of Zed’s memories of their time near the pond.

“Zed!” Shen had called out, startling the other boy who had previously been lost in thought, the blooming sakura trees nearly hiding Zed completely from Shen’s view,”I have been looking everywhere for you!.”

Zed hadn’t responded instead turning to look at the light breeze cause ripples over the small pond, the smell of cherry blossoms heavy in the air. 

Shen sat down next to him, staying quiet for a moment before speaking again, he had always had a hard time keeping quiet back then,”I am really happy I found you, I just wanted to say that my father is just being so harsh because he can see your potential and… yeah,” he nervously ran his hand through his hair as he looked at Zed who had turned to meet his gaze.

“Yeah and you know my potential, sure…. Just shut-up Shen, I’ll get over it,” Zed responded with a slight shrug turning to look in the opposite directions.

The thing Zed hadn’t expected was Shen placing a hand on his cheek and pushing him to meet his gaze again, their eyes meeting only briefly before Zed’s eyes looked away.

“I know that you are amazing and capable, I also know that you will always be my side no matter what,” Shen whispered and leaned forward to catch his lips against his own,”I don't care if they know, I don’t care if it’s wrong.”

Zed could remember getting carried away by those words, another planet, another world all his own where he could be with Shen. The kisses made him lose his own worries, letting them float away with the breeze that brought them closer together.

“But they can’t find out,” Zed responded after pulling himself back to reality,”I mean… Kusho is right, you have a duty to fulfill Shen, I am just a distraction.”

“To hell with it,” Shen teased,”but if you want to keep it a secret, how about we just keep meeting here then?”

“I guess that's okay,” Zed whispered,”I want you to have this then,” he moved to remove his pendant that he always wore, it was the only thing he had from his parents.

“I can’t take that,” Shen responded knowing what the necklace meant to Zed,”I couldn’t.”

“Just do it, to remember me when you are all high and mighty,” Zed teased and held it out for Shen, who took it with a small smile, putting it on and hiding it under his shirt.

They both fell asleep by the pond that night, Zed resting his chest on Shen, and Shen wrapping his arms around the other boy. It was their secret and they would be damned if they let anyone take that from them.

Another memory Zed held fondly was when he had begun to go the small town near the temple looking for new books and experiences. Zed had been followed one day by the same person who he shared those other moments with, and he had a plan.

Zed had realized Shen was following him when they had passed the outskirts of the temple land, he was good at shadowing, but Zed was better at tracking than Shen was at hiding. Dipping into a little hidden space between two homes, Zed waited for his moment to pounce on Shen. As soon as Shen came into view Zed grabbed his arm and pulled him into the hidden spot with him, pinning him against the wall and kissing him.

“Caught you,” Zed chuckled as he pulled away from the kiss with a large grin on his face,”Not very sneaky in my opinion.”

“Zed!” Shen was holding back laughter and his voice showed it,”Okay, okay you got me, I just wanted to see where you were going.”

“Into town to find some books, I have read through the temples library twice already,” Zed answered honestly, a large grin on his face”But now I am looking for an adventure with my best friend.”

“What type of adventure?” Shen asked with a raised eyebrow.

“A secret adventure,” Zed answered with a playful grin, opening his mouth to say something before a voice echoed to the spot they were hiding.

“I swear those boys are going to sow chaos into this world,” it was an easily recognizable voice as Kusho, Shen’s father, footsteps were heard as were other voice, he wasn’t alone.

Zed’s grin faded, before it came back full force and he looked at Shen,”I’ll race you back to the temple, last one there has to do the others chores!” he spoke quickly and with excitement before running off with a light in his eyes that only Shen had seen.

Shen raced after his running around right past his father, regardless of the older man’s orders to slow down. Kusho could do nothing but shake his head as the teacher standing beside him chuckled,”You can’t say you weren’t the same way.”

Zed caught Shen in the small forest around the temple grounds, much like the little town he grabbed his arm, having to use a bit more strength this time as Shen had been running this time. He stumbled back against a tree, laughing as Shen caught his breath rolling his eyes at Zed.

“Zed that's twice in one day, are you trying to startle me to death!” Shen huffed and crossed his arms as he stood straight.

“No, just trying not to get caught is all,” Zed replied with a soft smile, eyes full of love and happiness,”Obviously our secret can’t get out, I think your father would kill me literally,” he teased wrapping his arms around his shoulders and looking at him.

“Well, not if the shock kills him first,” Shen joked with a grin and their lips met again, all joking and laughing aside as they leaned back against the tree, holding each other.

“Zed, I think I love you,” Shen whispered, pulling away and opening his eyes to look into Zed’s eyes.

“Stupid,” Zed mumbled, blushing slightly before saying more,”I do love you.”

\----

Today the memories of their secret haunted Zed, it had been years since the hunt for Khada Jhin had removed any emotion from Shen, and even after so many years it still hurt losing him to that. Shen had just stopped talking to him, stopped coming to meet him in their secret meeting spots. It felt like his heart broke multiple times during that time, each time Shen would seem to come back around he would just push himself farther away. On top of that Zed had begun to question Kusho more and his teaching, then came the box, and its secrets.

Zed bowed his head at the memories, standing near the pond, their pond, snow falling around him as the look of anger on Shen’s face brought itself back into his mind, he killed Kusho, there was no getting past that, and he had ruined any chance of getting Shen back.

“I still love you Shen, as many times as you messed up as many times as I made the wrong decision, I still love you,” Zed mumbled letting the wind take the words, no one else would ever hear them.

\---- 

Each night Shen fell asleep to the memories, the only way he slept anymore, and though his anger towards the other man was immense, the feelings he still felt towards Zed were bigger. He had pushed him away for his duty, being The Eye of Twilight was a thankless job as is, he did not need a secret relationship on top of it.

There is not a night Shen does not regret pushing away Zed though, not one night he wouldn’t take back every moment he had hurt the other man, and pushed him so far away that he would kill Kusho and most of the Kinkou order.

Tonight was no exception as Shen stared out the window of the small inn he was staying in for the night, snowflakes falling slowly outside, a light breeze blowing them around. It was going to be another sleepless night as he couldn’t shove the feelings away like he had for everything else. The strange mixture of anger and love sitting in his gut like it was begging him to act on it, but he never would, he was sure Zed hated him by now anyway.

“I still love you Zed,” Shen whispered, closing his eyes and shaking his head,”I promised you something and all I did was break that promise.”

Pressing his hand against his chest, slowly Shen lifted the pendant that he always wore, pulling it out of hiding behind his undershirt, the necklace Zed had given him all those years before,”all I did was hurt you,” he whispered, closing his hand around the necklaces and sighing,”I don't know if I can fix it now, but we will always have our secret, at least in memory.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you are okay with reading NSFW stuff, this story connects with my story 'I Still Love You' I don't think it really adds much, but that's information if you want it.


End file.
